TANGMONKEY.COM [ The Official Ice Cream Fan Club ]

Whilst the vast majority of this planet's fine citizens rejoice in the knowledge that Ice-Cream is Excellent, there are an ugly few, a dirty dozen, a crazy coven, who despise ice-cream's delightful flavous, dismissing it as a putrid pastime and vile vittle. These morons, these idiots, are demonic heathens not fit to share our land. They must be shunned, scorned and scoffed at; purged from our society so that they will corrupt it no longer.

In order to emphasize the pronounced contempt that the Official Ice-Cream Fan Club feels for the beasts who dismiss its most cherished delicacy, we have created this page. Listed below are the email addresses of those who have made public declarations of their anti-ice-cream affiliation. We encourage all OIFC supporters to contact each of these individuals, assaulting their demonic heritage and utter lack of taste.

For those of you who lack the skills to properly express your feelings on the matter, the Tangmonkey Group has provided a missive that you are envouraged to copy and paste into your private correspondence. Give those devil-fiends a piece 'a your mind!

Dear Sir or Madam,

I write to you as a representative of the Official Ice-Cream Fan Club (http://www.tangmonkey.com/icecream/), an international body whose goal is to promote world peace by encouraging a universal declaration of ice-cream's excellence. It has come to the attention of our organization that you have publicly expressed a dislike for ice-cream.

You, Sir or Madam, are a vile heathen! A monkey-brained dastard, not fit to enjoy the fair sky of our world! Your intelligence has been shown to be severely limited, and your valour is nonexistent. Like a oafish boor you lumber through life, attacking all that is good and dumbly proclaiming the most ludicrous of falsehoods. You are a demon - and a weak, pasty one. You are astoudingly idiotic, overpoweringly obtuse, horrid and ugly and foul!

We of the Official Ice-Cream Fan Club (http://www.tangmonkey.com/icecream/) scoff at you, spit at you, hurl the most potent of curses at you. As one who dislikes ice-cream, you are the antithesis of all that is bright in the world; you are a tool of Evil, a lacklustre turd whose only skill is an astonishing stupidity. You are foolish, hated, and I hope you die, you ice-cream hating scumsack!

Sincerely,
Me.

The following are the contact addresses for several ice-cream haters. Please, write them today.

Damian Thornton (proof) Dean Bradford Golden (proof)

Jessica Erin Keenan (proof) Laya Hasmin "Jett" Diaz (proof)

Lacey (proof) Lynnie (proof)

Karen (proof) Michael McCrory (proof)

Alexandra Blasgen Tracey (proof)

Anne Nylander (proof) Denise Elaine Bundy nee' Fowell (proof)

Mira (proof) Chimpuat (proof)

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